Bad behavior.
Poor manners.
Lack of accountability.
Absence of answerability.
You know what I mean….
You are in a relationship and you eat your heart out with angst and anguish and even fear because you feel alone, beset upon, used and unappreciated.
You know what I mean….
So sometimes Task and Purpose isn’t enough…just doesn’t cut it.
Sometimes we have to take a stand – and understand – in fact, believe, that rather than worry about the consequences of confrontation we need to embrace them –
We must make it clear that being less than civil, open, honest and accountable is not acceptable and we must give no less ourselves.
Business, family, friends – makes no difference – give and demand the same.
Listen:
“Put up with it and you will get more of it.” Lynne Deal
Lead by example – insist on no less….
DON’T PUT UP WITH IT….
Your thoughts?
Couldn’t avoid thinking of the client relationship and how hard it is to find the ideal (or more adequate) tone on bringing up conflicts.
Furthermore, this is amazingly important on that relationship. Sometimes, like a spoiled child, the client tests our limits (and the agency’s limits) expecting that reaction. It is part of our job to show that there is another way, even if we have to do that on a (controlled) conflict.
But we have to be careful here, because interpretations of “putting up with it” and “confrontation” can vary widely. If we are truly leading by example, then mirroring that bad behavior back is not an option. So, in difficult situations, it becomes really important to be mindful of our own motivations and knee-jerk reactions, and make sure we’re seeing the situation clearly. Acting out of anger usually just makes the situation worse.
I’ve often found that “not putting up with it” means simply “expecting something different” — a shift of consciousness that happens in my own mind. Thinking, speaking and acting out from that changes the situation entirely.
I guess you are right. The important is not only the attitude but how it manifests itself and, yes, being mindful is part of our job as well. But it seemed to me that the point is not let it go easily, or, at least, without registering our opinion towards that matter.
Totally agree. I guess the delivery of this is going to be the clincher…. too much of a stand could make things worse ; too little and your a door mat.
Humilty and hoesty go a long way here as does accountability. its not about being right — its about doing right
David you are spot on. This resonated with me in a major way. I’ve been asking myself lately if accountability can be taught…is it nature or nuture? It seems as though there are far too many times that we’re up against “the unaccountable” and it’s unfortunate. Being “civil, open, honest and accountable” is great advice and a good reminder. Thanks for sharing.