When was the last time you had a really great discussion with someone?
You know the kind I mean – seriously good banter; a warm chat; an exchange of ideas or views; a tête-à-tête….
More…the kind of talk that comes with a cup of coffee or tea – maybe a beer or two – a walk around the block – a bench in the park – late night phone talk or a catch-up on a street corner with someone you bumped into and haven’t seen in a while.
What do they all have in common?
For me they connote a sense of warmth; intimacy.
Also a blurring of time – you know that feeling – you stop to talk and then an hour goes by….
More…there is no limit to your words…you can say what you mean…dig deep for the right words…have no fear of, or price on, word count…
UMMMM….
So when was the last time you had such an encounter and how was it?
Did you find it worth your while?
Did it help or hinder your relationship?
Would you do it again?
Let’s be clear – I Facebook, Tweet and whatever, like the rest, and it’s good – efficient, easy, gets to the core point (sometimes) and it connects me – but does it enhance my connectivity?
Devices connect – and we connect via those devices in ways we never imagined just a few years ago.
But connectivity is about people and emotion and depth – connectivity is the next step –
Listen:
“Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.”
Judith Martin (Miss Manners)
Conversation is connectivity. Communication is connection.
Love Facebook – but don’t confuse those few lines of desultory comment or a “thumbs up” for connectivity. By the way, Facebook doesn’t either – see Facebook Studio Awards…
Distinguishing between the two is a top priority for Facebook leadership:
Take a look at how Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg proudly defines what Facebook has become: “Less broadcasting, more conversations.”
Or what Facebook’s VP of Product Chris Cox suggests: “Don’t think of each piece of a profile as a field of data, but rather connective tissue.”
And see what others say too –
The Tech Elite from the Waldorf Schools, I’ve mentioned them in the past, say “Engagement is about human contact.”
Being online means being connected but it doesn’t necessarily mean connectivity.
Connection or Connectivity….
Communication or conversation….
It’s up to you….
What do you think?
It’s not just connectivity. It’s accessibility and collaboration. Engaging people you would not otherwise engage. And vice versa. It’s part of my real world… not apart from it. I have many rich and meaningful conversations on-line that move off-line, and then back again. It’s become invisible… as it should be.
The biggest problem with Facebook is its insistence on narrowing my world… I believe that will become a problem for them long-term. They need to figure out how to keep me exposed to new things… not just things like the things I liked today. Do I smell opportunity?
Thanks David for the blog.
Last time was last night as I’m walking my dog and met a new neigbhor. and the night before at a birthday party. Chance encounters, meetings, possible new friendships, business relationships… they all lead somewhere. Of course I’m the type of person to talk to other customers waiting in the grocery line.
Some start offline and continue online. Some conversations started online (email, Facebook, Twitter) and grew offline. It’s both –conversation and being \connected\, I agree not connectivity. But interesting enough, each person I connect to, have a preferred continued mode of communication. Some prefer email, some text message, some Facebook. Thankfully I speak all social languages. Which is another interesting point. What if I didn’t use Facebook? If I’m really interested in forging a friendship is one forced to use FB? We speak the same English language, however are relationships dependent upon or defined by which social medium we use? In business, I suppose so.
But I’m also selective with Facebook Friends. They must engage and not just talk about themselves.
Thanks for the blog post.
Ask questions, listen, be present
[...] we have Facebook, Skype, IM, Twitter, email and mobile phones, and all you need is a connection – but do we have more connectivity? That is the human linkage…people [...]