Archive for March, 2012

Monday, March 26th, 2012

Crossing The Street

Friends, friends, friends

We will always be….

So went the popular song – popular that is in summer camp – and usually sung on the last night of the summer holiday as we all, sadly, faced a full year of school, and for many of us a full year away from one another as we lived in different towns and went to different schools.

In those “ancient times” most people had one phone line at home – land of course – and only a couple of actual phone sets – so privacy was in a funny way not unlike today.

More importantly – calls were expensive – the minute clock ticked – so someone a few miles away, but in a different county, was for all intents and purposes as far away as the moon.

But we managed – and somehow relationships stayed strong – friendships grew – and time and distance meant little, and there we were again the next year – in a circle – arms linked – singing “Friends, friends, friends….”

Today we have Facebook, Skype, IM, Twitter, email and mobile phones, and all you need is a connection – but do we have more connectivity? That is the human linkage…people relationships.

Today I am linked to hundreds of people who went to the summer camp I attended – don’t know most of them – some before my time, some after—but we share pictures and remembrances and news, and I have to admit I do look at most of the postings – something I don’t do usually – but I do so in the event someone I know has surfaced. So my “friend” circle has expanded with names I don’t recognize and people I have not reached out to.

On the other hand – in my inner circle of close friends from those summers – are Zelly and Waz and D and J and a handful of others – all of whom I have kept up with all these years – from the time we saw each other only over the summers till today – sometimes going months without contact – but nevertheless first-circle, close-in real friends – the kind who pick you up at the airport in the middle of the night – even if they aren’t on Facebook.

I was inspired by a piece I read on the plane – in GQ of all places – in their “Tech” column – the heading goes:

Honey, This Face Time Is Torture/If you’ve ever suffered through a long-distance relationship, you’re familiar with the painful mix of love, longing and resentment. But technology was supposed to make it so much easier. So why am iLonely?”

All of which lead me to this – listen:

“I have lost friends, some by death…others through sheer inability to cross the street.”
Virginia Woolf

Here is the question – are you crossing the street?

I have pointed out before that Facebook is all about crossing the street today – so why not learn from the masters?

And please cross the street…

What do you think?

Monday, March 19th, 2012

The Verdict Is In

Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty.

Fifteen charges and all Guilty.

I am referring to the case of a New Jersey/USA student who was on trial for spying on his roommate with a webcam and then using the usual social tools to spread the word and share the view.

The roommate committed suicide – the trial wasn’t really about that; there was no charge for the death – but it clearly was about that:  Unintended consequences made the charges that much more real…if you will.

Sadly – the verdict will not bring back the dead – but it might drive a stake in the endlessly shifting sands where law meets technology.

I’ve written about this before – accountability for posting, accountability for sharing, accountability for what we say online – or anywhere for that matter.

Anonymity is not acceptable unless you are in fear of your life – hiding behind some vague notion of liberty and freedom of speech while you deny others theirs is absurd – yet it is accepted by many….

Read the story of the trial – youth, freedom of speech, digital openness and social liberty are not excuses – this may or may not be a landmark – I hope it is…

Bottom line, we cannot allow people to harm others because they have convinced themselves they have a right…listen:

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”
Voltaire

Gotta love Voltaire.

Also interesting how the digital footprint was used – card swipes, surveillance cameras, computer usage, twitter feeds – wild – if that isn’t a lesson, I don’t know what is.

Read the case – how would you have voted had you been on the jury…?

WHAT DO YOU THINK???

  • I hope it is landmark also. Digital accountability is not different than real life accountability. What we say and how we act is a reflection of who we are. Why is it that people assume that its different? With the digital finger prints that we leave, why would someone think that they would not get caught for posting ...
  • Technology + Social Media in the hands of our young children today have shown to cause atrocities. It is sad, but hopefully a verdict of guilty will help deter repeaters!
  • With technology comes power, and with power comes responsibility - something that seem's to have gotten lost along the way. Lest we remind ourselves in the communciation game that we share the same responsibilty in terms of what we communicate.There are consequence's to the messages we put out, so take a moment and ponder those before you do.
Monday, March 12th, 2012

When Was The Last Time…

When was the last time you had a really great discussion with someone?

You know the kind I mean – seriously good banter; a warm chat; an exchange of ideas or views; a tête-à-tête….

More…the kind of talk that comes with a cup of coffee or tea – maybe a beer or two – a walk around the block – a bench in the park – late night phone talk or a catch-up on a street corner with someone you bumped into and haven’t seen in a while.

What do they all have in common?

For me they connote a sense of warmth; intimacy.

Also a blurring of time – you know that feeling – you stop to talk and then an hour goes by….

More…there is no limit to your words…you can say what you mean…dig deep for the right words…have no fear of, or price on, word count…

UMMMM….

So when was the last time you had such an encounter and how was it?

Did you find it worth your while?

Did it help or hinder your relationship?

Would you do it again?

Let’s be clear – I Facebook, Tweet and whatever, like the rest, and it’s good – efficient, easy, gets to the core point (sometimes) and it connects me – but does it enhance my connectivity?

Devices connect – and we connect via those devices in ways we never imagined just a few years ago.

But connectivity is about people and emotion and depth – connectivity is the next step –

Listen:

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.”
Judith Martin (Miss Manners)

Conversation is connectivity. Communication is connection.

Love Facebook – but don’t confuse those few lines of desultory comment or a “thumbs up” for connectivity.  By the way, Facebook doesn’t either – see Facebook Studio Awards

Distinguishing between the two is a top priority for Facebook leadership:

Take a look at how Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg proudly defines what Facebook has become:  “Less broadcasting, more conversations.”

Or what Facebook’s VP of Product Chris Cox suggests:  “Don’t think of each piece of a profile as a field of data, but rather connective tissue.”

And see what others say too –

The Tech Elite from the Waldorf Schools, I’ve mentioned them in the past, say “Engagement is about human contact.”

Being online means being connected but it doesn’t necessarily mean connectivity.

Connection or Connectivity….

Communication or conversation….

It’s up to you….

What do you think?